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Rendezvous
Copyright © 2000 Kelli Caldwell
ROUGH A CAPPELLA VERSION!
Rendezvous
Sounded so intriguing
Sounded so inviting
Mysterious--
Rendezvous
Wanted something different
Wanted to believe that I'd find it with you--
Rendezvous--
(spoken)
Fabio-Obsessed, Harlequin-Reading, Suburban Housewife Writes Song
in mid-life crisis, then leaves accountant husband of six years to go to Nashville and become a singer-songwriter, convinced she's got talent, only to be laughed off the stage and forced to wait tables at a topless bar, called "The G-Spot," where she meets a younger man—a Cuban named Eduardo Cruz—who, impressed with the size of her nipples, asks her to be his fifth ("But this time it's forever, Baby...") wife, then forces her to smuggle cocaine in the false bottom of a baby bunting. She has no baby; it's borrowed.
Chorus:
Rendezvous
Sounded so intriguing
Sounded so inviting
Mysterious--
Rendezvous
Wanted something different
Wanted to believe that I'd find it with you--
Rendezvous--
True stories come and go
Never having tasted sweet wine
True stories, billions served
Never having gone for the apple pie
Recovering-Addict Wife of Cuban Drug Dealer Absconds with Baby
of her husband's second cousin's friend, Paula. Packing 25 Gs and some diamonds in the false bottom of a baby bunting, she hitchhikes her way to Vancouver, British Columbia, where she takes an apartment in the basement of a house belonging to a Scottish scientist, and widower, named MacIlvey. MacIlvey, although annoyed by the constant crying of a baby, who, for some reason, refuses to breast feed, falls in love with his tenant and asks her to marry him. They wed by the ocean and pipes play.
Chorus:
Rendezvous
Sounded so intriguing
Sounded so inviting
Mysterious--
Rendezvous
Wanted something different
Wanted to believe that I'd find it with you--
Rendezvous--
True stories come and go
Never having tasted sweet wine
True stories, billions served
Never having gone for the apple pie
Pipe-Smoking Cyrus MacIlvey—Known for His Research on the Long-Term Effects of G-Force Pressure on the Human Psyche—Publishes Internationally Acclaimed Paper and is thrust into the spotlight. Confused by his wife's sudden retreat, he decides she must just be overwhelmed by the workload of raising their three children, Elian, Jennifer, and Keith. He arrives home one evening with a lovely surprise: "Dear, I've two tickets to Nashville! Always wanted to see where Elvis was born, haven't you? And by the way, I've hired you a nanny! Meet Paula."
Chorus:
Rendezvous
Sounded so intriguing
Sounded so inviting
Mysterious--
Rendezvous
Wanted something different
Wanted to believe that I'd find it with you--
Rendezvous--
Mother of Three, Wife of Internationally-Acclaimed Scientist, Disappears After Stabbing Her Newly-Hired Cuban Nanny Seven Times. Husband says, "Gee, I don't know what came over her. I just introduced her and she snapped." After an anonymous tip, U.S. Marshalls discover her body in a hotel in Honolulu, Hawaii, called Awana Wana Kinki, where she was apparently held hostage, then killed in a double-murder/suicide by her ex-husband, former accountant turned body builder, Keith Butz, recently going by the name Fabio.
True stories come and go
Never having tasted sweet wine
True stories, billions served
Never having gone for the apple pie
Rendezvous
Lyric notes: chorus or verse start...
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