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What's Wrong with You?
Copyright © 2011 Kelli Caldwell
ROUGH A CAPPELLA VERSION!
Twenty-nine years and counting, yeah
Is there a ticker-tape across my chest?
That says I’m up for sale
If you’re an eligible male
Better hurry
Guess there’s not much left
Cause yesterday
I heard my mother say...
Chorus:
What’s wrong with you, you’re not married to
A nice man with a white-picket pocket?
What’s wrong with you, you’re not going through
Withdrawals——no date tonight?
Oh man, are you alright?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s wrong with you—and why?
32 years and drying up
I need a therapist to check my head
Yeah, something must be loose
I’m still a wandering goose
If I don’t mate
I might as well be dead
See yesterday
I had some lady say...
Chorus:
What’s wrong with you, you’re not married to
A nice man with a white-picket pocket?
What’s wrong with you, you’re not going through
Withdrawals——no date tonight?
Oh man, are you alright?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s wrong with you—and why?
35 years and still no ring
Can you believe I even show my face
Something’s gotta give
When in this age we live
Another woman’s
Calling that/me a disgrace
There ain’t no way
You’ll ever hear me say…
Chorus:
What’s wrong with you, you’re not married to
A nice man with a white-picket pocket?
What’s wrong with you, you’re not going through
Withdrawals——no date tonight?
Oh man, are you alright?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s wrong with you—and why?
Lyric notes: I can't believe how many women made derogatory comments, starting in my mid-twenties, about me not being married "yet" or asked "what's wrong with you?", like it's a disease to be an unmarried woman... I wouldn't like to hear it from a man either, but I never did... just from other women. In this day and age? Are you F-ing kidding me, lady?!
titles | by genre
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- Oh My Darling
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Momma, Only Momma and I
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- Then You Will Run Free: A Song for Every Good Dog
- Froggie on My Windowsill
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- We're Almost There
- The Waiting Song
- The Hat Song
- Kickin' It with My Chicken
- Five Little Ducks
- Can't Find My Appendix
- Tonight I'll Be Brushing One Less Tooth - with Alice Block
- The Growing Song
- The Smiler Song
- Robots Don't Tell Jokes
- Rainbow_Love_Song
- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star - English & Japanese
- I - LOVE - YOU
- Peanut, Pinenut
- Let's Go Pistachio
- I'll Be a Butterfly
- I Believe in You
- I'm Proud of You
- I'm a Mama Monkey
- Is There a Bird on My Head?
- Five Little Frogs
- When You Dance
- Superstar
- Baby Grace
- Jesus Lives Within
- Leave It to the Son
- Only the Redeemer
- Jewel
- Praise to the Lord Above
- He's the Way and the Light
- Father, My Father
- God is the Gracious One
- God Takes Care of Me
- I Wander Still
- One Way to Heaven
- Catch My Heart
- He's the Way and the Light
- Spirit, Fill Me Up Today
- Everything Good Comes From God
- Beside He Stands
- La Lullaby
- Baby Grace
- The Sleepy Song
- Just Snuggle In
- Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Oh
- I'm in Love with You
- I Will Miss You
- The Ooh La La Song
- The Future Will Repay - Finalist 2018 Local Roots Song Contest
- Don't You Worry About the Fall - New Single Release!
- Figuring It Out
- Dirty Summer
- I Can Make It Alright
- A Bleecker Man
- I Need a Little More
- Killing Time
- My Dream Come True
- Serenity
- In the Last Moments
- Oh My Darling
- Pretend Summer
- That's So F*ing Portland
- Romeo - with Brent Rogers - Honorable Mention 2014 Artists in Music Awards
- She's So Bright
- I Just Met You
- Heart Wanderer
- Baby, Baby, Baby
- Here Could Be Anywhere
- Was it Love in Your Eyes?
- Will the New Year Bring You?
- Oh My Darling
- Want to Rise in Your Eyes
- Lost and Found
- Here I Go
- Honor Their Memory
- Momma, Only Momma and I
- My Credit Sucks
- Cooking Up Some Happiness
- Fly Away
- Turtlurtlurtle - Winner 2019 West Coast Songwriters International Song Contest
- The Ooh La La Song
- Springtime Dance
- Tacos, Bananas, and Toy Boats
- Then You Will Run Free: A Song for Every Good Dog
- Froggie on My Windowsill
- Jumpin' Beans
- Potty Training Song
- We're Almost There
- The Waiting Song
- The Hat Song
- Kickin' It with My Chicken
- Five Little Ducks
- Can't Find My Appendix
- Tonight I'll Be Brushing One Less Tooth - with Alice Block
- The Growing Song
- The Smiler Song
- Robots Don't Tell Jokes
- Rainbow_Love_Song
- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star - English & Japanese
- I - LOVE - YOU
- Peanut, Pinenut
- Let's Go Pistachio
- I'll Be a Butterfly
- I Believe in You
- I'm Proud of You
- I'm a Mama Monkey
- Is There a Bird on My Head?
- Five Little Frogs
- When You Dance
- Superstar
- La Lullaby
- Baby Grace
- The Sleepy Song
- Just Snuggle In
- Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Oh
- I'm in Love with You
- I Will Miss You
- The Ooh La La Song
- Baby Grace
- Jesus Lives Within
- Leave It to the Son
- Only the Redeemer
- Jewel
- Praise to the Lord Above
- He's the Way and the Light
- Father, My Father
- God is the Gracious One
- God Takes Care of Me
- I Wander Still
- One Way to Heaven
- Catch My Heart
- He's the Way and the Light
- Spirit, Fill Me Up Today
- Will the New Year Bring You?
- Twas in the Moon of Wintertime - The Huron Carol (cover)
- Twas in the Moon of Wintertime - The Huron Carol (cover)
- Frere Jacques in French, English, German, Finnish, Spanish (cover)
favs
Some local songwriters & artists worth checking out...
• Jessa Campbell & the Saplings - kids
• Gil Reynolds Trio
• Julio Appling
• Spank Hopkins
• Matt Clark (kids)
• Dan'l
• Naomi Hooley
not local...
• Asa
• Bebe
• Alison Krauss & Union Station
• Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
• CCR
• PFR
• Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers
• Coldplay